Fully Alive MarriageSample

Christ as the Foundation

Since marriage is the union of two sinners, your relationship is a setup for disaster—but for God.

It sounds good. You know you should make Christ the foundation of your marriage. “Build your marriage on the Rock,” as the saying goes. Relying on whatever human strength you and your spouse have is not enough to make it. You need God with you; “a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” But how do you put that into practice?

There are plenty of marriages among church people that don’t last. You probably know several of them. Perhaps you’ve experienced divorce yourself. So you and your spouse must do more than call yourselves Christians and go to church when it works out for you.

Here are two ways to make Christ the foundation of your marriage.

1. Learn from Jesus.

You didn’t know all there is to know about marriage and relationships when you got married. You had learned how to “do” feelings, communication, conflict, intimacy, sex, money, male/female roles, and much more before you knew you were learning them. The things you saw, heard, and experienced growing up greatly color how you do marriage now.

Some of the things you learned may have been very good, and others were incomplete and downright harmful. Be a learner, and make Jesus your chief Teacher. He invites you, “Learn from me.” This is not just reading Bible verses about marriage. Take time to learn how Jesus did things, such as feelings and communication, and practice “doing” relationships the way He did. That’s what learning to love well looks like.

2. Invite Jesus to be present.

Things don’t stay the same when Jesus shows up. When Jesus showed up while here on earth, people were healed, dead things came to life, lies were exposed, shame was relieved, and humans were restored to wholeness as God originally planned for them to be.

Your marriage won’t stay the same when Jesus shows up there, either. On your knees, yourself, and together with your spouse, invite Jesus right into the middle of your messy marriage. Whatever challenge you’re facing, He already knows about it and has an answer. Let your frantic emotions quiet down and become still so you can hear Him. Seek His perspective and His presence. Things will change. Most importantly, you will change.

What part of your marriage do you need to learn about from Jesus? Where do you need Him to be present?