Failing Is OkaySample

DEALING WITH SHAME

We typically experience shame, more than guilt, when we fail. Shame says, “I am bad”. Guilt says, “I did something bad”. Brené Brown defines shame as an “intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.”

I worked as a quality control officer in a manufacturing company in my second job. My supervisor was apparently insecure around me for some reason. He was abrasive by nature and used to find opportunities to yell at me using vulgar language in the presence of laborers and juniors. I was in my early twenties and used to cry every time I was humiliated.

I discovered how shame can cripple us at different levels. It gnaws away self-esteem, spoils relationships, and hinders productivity – both at home and work. Since personal and work life cannot be easily divorced, emotions get displaced. Shame felt due to failure at work is easily triggered by the slightest negative insinuation made by someone at home.

Constant criticism, heckling, and gossiping are signs that shame has crept into the office. A Spirit-sensitive worker identifies shame-triggers and diffuses any situation which could potentially debase someone. We need to intentionally “make garments” for our co-worker, subordinate, or boss, who stands exposed. This in no way advocates covering up a legally and morally wrong act. I am simply referring to the opportunities we have every day to make our colleagues look good or bad.

Our workplace should be a safe haven where people’s dignity is preserved even when they err or fail. Paul reminds us that we are clothed with Christ (Gal. 3:27). Jesus is God’s garment for our shame each day. What would it take for you and me to be that Jesus to someone else?

Prayer: Dear Lord, people are hurting deeply. I pray that I will be a balm that heals their pain and a garment that covers their shame.