Help Your Marriage Thrive While Parenting TeensSample

It’s tempting to get so caught up in parenting you let your marriage fall to the wayside. It’s easy to do, since kids often do much more to get our attention than our spouse does! Parenting tasks can seem urgent, and our kids loooove our attention—even negative attention is better than none!

Our marriage, on the other hand, has the stability of commitment. In tough parenting seasons, I sometimes feel like we become a pair of street fighters fighting off the bad guys as we face the daily parenting crises and critical situations. When the battle is over, we catch our breath, and sometimes don’t even get the chance to recover before the next thing comes along. It brings to mind the “cord of three strands” analogy from Ecclesiastes 4.

It’s true that we can rest in the commitment we made when we got married and benefit from the stability of our marriage partnership in parenting. But the marriage won’t truly thrive or be enjoyable without the ongoing work of building it into a strong union. Relationships aren’t static, so a thriving marriage requires ongoing, intentional work. We either grow closer or drift away. There is no coasting in an awesome marriage.

On the other hand, if your marriage isn't strong and steady, it will add monumentally to the stress of parenting and family. A difficult marriage is a heavy burden. If this is where you are right now, don’t stay there. Take a step toward healing: pray for marriage healing; see a counselor alone or with your spouse, have the difficult but important conversations; talk to your pastor or a mentor. You, your spouse, and your children will all benefit from the health of your marriage.

The teen years are a great time to become more intentional. In this season, your teen is growing more independent. They may have a busy schedule or retreat from you more often, which means it takes intentionality to make quality time with them happen. This also allows you more time to intentionally invest in your marriage and spouse. Take some time to think about what makes your time together quality, then schedule in quality time weekly with your spouse and teen.

Your marriage is a covenant relationship between you, God, and your spouse. After the kids are grown and gone, what will keep you strong, still attracted to each other, and enjoying each other’s company? What things did you do together before kids that drew you together? Don’t let complacency separate what God has joined together in your marriage.

Is your marriage awesome?

How does your marriage measure up? Is it healthy? Do you and your spouse communicate well? How does your marriage stack up against the rest? Is it Christ-centered? Find out where your marriage is now and learn your next steps to an awesome marriage.