Hope and Encouragement for Special Needs MomsSample

Day Four

Not All Friendships Are Created Equal

Scriptures: Job 2: 11, 13; Ruth 1:3-5, 14; Esther 4:14b

It is important to find connection with others. Scripture calls us to be in community with other Christians. However, having the right type of influence in our life is essential to guiding us on the right path.

Offer the gift of your presence.

Job was a righteous man who God allowed Satan to put through a personal trial. Job suffered greatly, and his friends came to sympathize and comfort him (Job 2:11). Initially, Job's friends sat silently with him for seven days and nights because they saw that Job was suffering greatly (Job 2:13). Eventually, Job's three friends started speaking. They offered counsel over circumstances they didn't understand. The "wisdom" they provided ended up making the situation much worse in the end.

Job's friends had it right initially by sitting still with him in his grief, being present with him, and comforting him in his moment of pain. As special needs moms, we often long for someone to simply be present with us, to be willing to sit with us in the tension that comes with our lives.

We can be that for others as well. The next time a friend is in pain, remember how God's comforting presence has brought you peace, and be that comfort for your friend first, before you speak. Don't undervalue the gift of your presence.

Offer the gift of authenticity.

Unfortunately, as special needs moms, we don't have much time to invest in spending time with friends. We wish we had the luxury of girls' nights out or spa dates. Instead, too often we are shuttling our child to therapies, doctor's visits, or any number of other appointments. However, we cannot discount the shared experiences we forge with other special needs moms or how our trials can help us bond and make authentic connections with each other.

The story of Ruth and Naomi's relationship is a beautiful example of how trials and tragedies birthed a deep friendship that would not have been possible between two women who only shared surface-level interests. Their friendship was fortified with the structure of death and heartbreak (Ruth 1:3-5). Their unbreakable bond was strengthened with Ruth's unwavering support during the hardest of times. "Where you go, I will go and where you stay, I will stay (Ruth 1:16).” Don't let difficult times limit the gift of your authentic self; you have much to offer.

Offer the gift of integrity.

A true friend will speak God's truth with integrity into your life. That friend will not speak their truth or agenda, nor will they speak what is easiest to accomplish or what we want to hear.

Mordecai was such a friend when he said to Queen Esther, "And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14b)? Mordecai and Esther knew she could very well die for her involvement with saving the Jews from imminent genocide. Still, Esther took what Mordecai said to heart. Mordecai was speaking God's truth of Esther's greater purpose of why she became queen and challenging her to do what was right, not what was easiest. The gift of integrity and truth isn't always the easiest, yet it is vital in a true friendship. Seek it.

What are the gifts of your friendships? What gifts can you offer your friends today?