Gather Insight

Romans 12:10

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.”

1 Peter 5:5

“In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’”

Philippians 2:3-4

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”

Deuteronomy 5:16

“‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.’”

Meeting your partner’s parents for the first time is a significant step in your relationship. It typically means things are going well and moving forward. It can also be a nerve-wracking step. You want to make a good impression and show them honor and respect.

With the right mindset and approach, you can build a strong foundation for a healthy relationship with your partner’s parents—one based on trust and mutual understanding. You'll not only be following Christ's teachings on honoring others but extending kindness to those who have invested so much into the life of your significant other.

Whether you and your partner come from similar backgrounds or not, it’s important to gather insight into what honorable behavior means to their parents. According to scripture, honoring others means giving preference to another person’s needs over your own. How this looks in the context of meeting the parents depends on your partner’s parents’ needs and desires.

This is where gathering insight and information from your boyfriend or girlfriend becomes invaluable. Ask questions to learn about their parents’ interests and values. Ask your partner if there are any “off limits” topics and respect those boundaries during the first meeting.

In the case of the first family meeting, honoring the parents could look like choosing to dress in slightly different clothing than you traditionally do to make sure they feel comfortable. Or it could look like scaling back on the PDA if too much affection would make the parents feel uncomfortable during the first meeting.

While they aren’t your father and mother, they are important people in your life–and they will become even more important if you get married, and they become your in-laws one day. They deserve your respect, and the best way to show honor is to understand what actions and behaviors will make them feel the most comfortable.

A Prayer for Wisdom

God,

I pray for wisdom and guidance as I prepare to meet my partner’s parents. Help me know what to say and how to act in an honorable way. I ask that the Holy Spirit would guide my words and actions so that I can make a good first impression. I am so grateful for my relationship with my partner, and it is very important for their parents to like me. Please give me peace and confidence as I trust you to help me navigate this first meeting with grace, respect, and honor.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.