Choosing FriendsSample

FOOLS VS. FRIENDS

Fools bring you down, and friends call you forward. The need to distinguish between them is the difference between life and death. Scripture paints a clear distinction and a beautiful picture of what’s possible.

Proverbs 27:6 gives us a vivid truth about discerning between enemies or fools and friends. “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” Some people present themselves as friends, but they are enemies in friends’ clothing. How can you tell the difference? I’ll list the contrasts below, but here’s the ultimate evidence: an enemy kisses to hurt, and a friend cuts to help.

Enemies/Fools: Are critical, will betray you, are prideful, want to tear you down to make themselves look better, and will suck-up to you and manipulate you just to get what they want.

Friends: Are hopeful, will respect what you tell them in confidence, demonstrate humility, seek to build you up, but are also willing to tell you the truth even when it might be hard for you to hear.

These descriptions may be tough to see. It may hit you personally. It might even convict you deeply. But we can’t walk away from these truths unchanged. Seeing people as they are is critical to going where God wants to take you. Remember this: enemies always take you down, companions go with you, but true friends pick you up and call you forward.

The most pain I’ve ever encountered was from true friends. It is beautiful. They tell me the truth; sometimes it hurts, but it ultimately fills my emotional tank to full. They are for me and not against me. These friends have loved me well enough to speak the truth when it cut deeply. But they never leave me to bleed—they are all about health and healing. Having a friend like this is a friend to choose for your walk of faith. They will help you run the race.

Conversely, the most damage I’ve ever encountered in my life was from “friends” as well. God uses even the most crushing events in life to His glory. No one can avoid getting burned by choosing the wrong friends, but learning early warning signs will help you weed out many who would cost you dearly down the road. Learn this lesson now: when a fool shows you who they are, believe it!

THE ROAD TO BETTER FRIENDSHIPS:

• Take an inventory of the people you spend the most time with. Are they friends (or potential friends), or are they fools?
• Pray and ask God to help you discern the difference.