The Marriage Toolkit - Parent EditionSample

Tool #1 - Love

As a married couple of 19 years, and with 3 teenagers, we have learned a lot. We’re not your typical family. We probably say, “I love you” more than most. In fact, if we had a penny for every time that phrase has been used in our house, we’d all be millionaires by now, individually. Make no mistake, we truly mean it every time we say it, because we realized early on in parenthood that love would be the most important tool to use when raising children.

Since God is the author of love, and is actually Himself love, He will be the greatest source of strength in this area. Your kids can pick up on how to love someone from a lot of different sources these days, but wouldn’t the best source be from watching you love each other?

When time gets scarce and precious, and everyone has a different schedule that has to be completed on the same day, keeping God first should still be the top priority. Some great ways to love on God are through worship, prayer, and reading His word. Although it’s sometimes hard to do these things together, it’s important that we each try to make our own time for it every day. When you come back together at the end of the day and you’ve not taken the time to love on God, it’s sometimes harder to love on each other.

When modeling love with your spouse, don’t save all the sweet words for when you’re alone. Let your kids see how much you love each other, keeping it age appropriate, because you’re the best example they have for learning how to treat their spouse. Make every teachable moment count. Even when you’re out and about, make sure you’re still showing your children how you respect and care for each other. If you’re showing them what true love looks like, they won’t be so quick to jump at what the world tells them love is. Show them that love is more than a word, but a collection of thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Engagement Point: Starting today, make sure you’re spending daily time with the Author of love. As you make spending time with God a daily practice, take time to tell your spouse and kids, “I love you,” but make this more than just words; show them your love. Learn their love language and practice it daily.