6 Hidden Behaviors That Destroy FamiliesSample

Hidden Behavior #6: A Failure to Accept Differences

God created you unique and special. Nobody on this planet is like you. The same is true of your family members. Because we are created to be individuals who are distinct from everyone else in the world, we will naturally be different from one another. 

Such differences should not be used to create division in a family. We are called to love and accept our relatives for who they are right now. To accept them is to show love toward them.

For this is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. (1 John 3:11)

This message from Scripture does not say that we need to judge our family members before we love them. No, the meaning is quite clear. Remember, Jesus has instructed us not to judge others:

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. (Matthew 7:1)

Christ’s Unconditional Love

Often, we judge our family members rather than accept their differences. We judge their lifestyle, their parenting methods, their political beliefs, or other areas where differences can be found. Our judgment of our loved ones often leads to division, strife, hurt feelings, and broken relationships. This is why God has warned us in Scripture to avoid judging others. It is God’s job to do the judging. Only He can be an impartial and just judge. Again, it is our job as family members to accept and love one another.

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:12)

Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God. (Romans 15:7 ESV)

Romans 15:7 does not say we are to accept one another only if we are the same. We are to accept our loved ones with the unconditional love with which Christ accepts us.

This Is Not About Accepting Sin

Acceptance of a person is not the same thing as acceptance of a person’s sin. Their sin is between them and God. Your role as a family member is to love them in spite of their sin. If we all based our relationships on the absence of sin and mistakes in other people, we would have no relationships at all because we are all sinners.

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

We need to stop pointing our fingers at family members in order to show them their sin. They have sin, but so do we. We all have sin. We cannot stop loving one another because we are sinners. Hating someone because of their sin will only defeat love. But love can overcome evil and sin.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)

Do you have a family member that you have judged or failed to accept because of their differences? Do you need to repent of your rejection and judgment of this person? What can you do to begin mending a relationship where you have not accepted someone in your family? Go to God in prayer and ask for His forgiveness for judging or rejecting a loved one based on your differences. Then, ask for His wisdom in handling your family relationships where acceptance and judgment have been an issue.

Family Matters

I encourage you to use the solutions and recommendations offered in this devotional to help you better prevent the occurrence of the six hidden behaviors that destroy families and to produce a positive outcome when the behaviors surface. You can make a difference by providing the necessary wisdom, love, and practical solutions that your family needs to be strong and unified.

Remember, all it takes is one person to start the trend of correctly responding to mistakes and wrong behaviors so that family relationships won’t be damaged but rather grow and thrive. Your actions can help your family members to feel wanted, loved, and valued. Perhaps God has called you to be the one who will make a significant difference in the life of your extended family. Will you begin today?

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