A Friend In MeSample

“Oneness”

Is the core of your heart a safe place? Can you give others the space to grow, fail, and mature?

David Kinnaman, author of You Lost Me, said, “To follow Jesus, young adults in the next generation—just like the generations before them—will have to learn humility. From whom will they learn it? When they look at us, do they see humble servants and eager students of the Master?”

Our ability to serve those around us depends largely on why we’re doing the serving. The humbler we are—the more aware we are of God’s working power in our lives—the more we can get up from the table, so to speak, set aside what others may think, and give to those closest to us. We can confidently lay aside anything that would get in the way of loving.

When we are humble, we are rarely threatened or embarrassed or insecure. (If we become aware that we are struggling with feeling threatened or insecure, we acknowledge it but don’t let it hold us back.) We are free to focus on the other person and to be present to her.

When we are humble, it paves the way for “oneness.” In John 17:11, Jesus prayed to his Father, asking him to keep his followers in his name, “that they may be one even as we are one.” With age, we can forget how to be “one” with a younger woman—meaning we forget how to be her friend. We are one with a younger woman when we find ways to identify with her: “How’s the child care coming along? I remember when I first started working after my baby was born.” Or “I’m not feeling motivated to exercise. How do you discipline yourself so well?” When we are one with a younger woman, we give her a model for what her relationship with Christ could look like: authentic, safe, practical, intimate, and conversational. When we humbly admit that we want to learn how to support her by being ourselves, we help her experience her identity in Christ. We help her understand that it means to be loved and to be worthy. We help her recognize that her relationship with Christ can be accessible and transparent.

*What are some ways you can identify with the younger women in your life? Are you able to do it openly and with humility?