Relational Reset: 7 Days To Unlearning The Habits That Hold You BackSample

  Eradicate Envy

Oftentimes, we believe that an event triggers a feeling, but the reality is that what we think about the event leads to the feeling. For example, if another couple in our circle of friends had a baby while my husband and I continued to wait years to adopt, I might have felt jealous of them. But, there is a missing component in that sentence. Something happens between the event of a couple having a baby and my feeling of envy—my thoughts. In this case, I might think, Why does this couple who have barely been married a minute get to have children while my husband of fourteen years and I continue to wait? If I change my thoughts, I can change my feeling. A replacement thought might be, I am thankful that this couple does not have to experience what we have been through. I am thankful they gave birth to a healthy baby. I am thankful they are a godly couple who will raise their child in a Christian home. Plus, I bet I’ll get some baby snuggles! When I change my thinking, my jealousy eases and I can celebrate with these new parents. When we replace a jealous, harmful thought with a realistic, helpful thought, we feel better and our relationships are less likely to suffer.