Does Forgiving Make You A Doormat? Sample

When Your Expectations Are Violated

So many situations of unforgiveness come up when our expectations are violated. We expect people to keep their word to us, and then they break it. We expect someone to help us, and they bail. We expect someone to have our back, and they betray us. We expect someone to protect us or treat us fairly, and they don’t. We expect more from Christians and ministers, then they turn out to be very human and they disappoint us. 

The list goes on and on. There’s nothing that leads to unforgiveness faster than violated expectancies. 

I knew a couple once — let’s call them Ron and Brenda Smith — who prayed and believed God to go to the same Bible school their pastor had gone to. 

One day, their pastor told them the church would pay their tuition. They were so excited! They drove the 2,000 miles to the Bible school. They loved it, and their lives were impacted in a powerful way.

But at the end of that first year, there were some extenuating circumstances and the church couldn't pay the tuition for their second year. 

The Smiths felt hurt, betrayed and so disappointed! Rather than looking to God to provide, they focused on how their expectations had been violated. They packed up and moved back home, giving up their dream. They didn’t even return to church because they were so angry. As far as I know, they’re still bitter about it and blame that church for derailing the plan of their life. 

How tragic that they chose bitterness and disappointment over forgiveness and the pursuit of their dream. They expected one thing, got another, and they threw down their faith. 

Don’t let that be you! Remember, in spite of your expectations, people don’t owe you anything. Determine to be a person who forgives quickly and moves on, looking to God to meet your needs not anyone else. Philippians 4:19 says, “And my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” God is a better provider than any human source. 

When one expectation turns out differently, forgive and expect to see God move on your behalf. If you’ll continue to trust Him, He knows how to make every disappointment turn out well for you! 

Was this plan helpful to you? It's adapted from my book "I Forgive You, But...." - read the first part here ).