Squad GoalsSample

Have you ever taken an inventory of the subjects of your conversations? It can be easy to just talk about the weather, sports, or politics. But there are much more important matters of the soul you could be spending your time talking about. Why talk about sports when your friend is going through a divorce? Why talk about government improvements when your friend is suffering from depression and anxiety. The fourth squad goal is desperately needed for you and your friends:

Goal #4: Be Willing to have tough conversations. 

We all have “that friend” who is dating somebody we know they shouldn’t be dating, but they’ve made it so tough to tell them the truth. Don’t be “that friend.” 

You can’t just have the right people around you. You need to be having the right conversations. Be willing to go beyond the surface to talk about things that actually matter. The worst feeling in the world is when your friend tells you they’re splitting up with their spouse and you didn’t even know they were having problems. You were hanging out with them talking about everything but the most important thing in their world. The only thing you probably had to do was ask, “Hey, how’s marriage these days?” That one question could be the difference between them opening up to find a resolution and them staying silent while their marriage decays.

Be willing to have uncomfortable conversations others aren’t willing to have. You may be thinking, “But I would have no idea what to say.” Perfect! Most people just want someone who will listen. If they wanted to talk to a therapist, they would go see a therapist. One of my best friends, James Wilson, often says, “We celebrate great talkers, but very rarely compliment great listeners.” It’s true. Between a great talker or a great listener, which one would you rather have as a friend on your worst day?

Friendships often dissolve because of unresolved offenses. The good news is that resolving the offense is usually much faster and easier than finding a whole new friendship somewhere else. Address your issues early and as often as they come up. Don't sweep things under the rug. Ask God for the wisdom to know the difference between something you need to bring up, and something you need to get over. Your real friends are the ones who tell you the full truth where everyone else stops short in order to manage your insecurities. All your friends may not be open to your honesty, but once again, you can’t control how they respond to tough conversations. You can only control how you respond to tough conversation. 

How you respond to a person’s honesty the first time will determine if they’re ever honest with you again a second time. Be the friend who is willing to give and receive tough and honest conversations about things that really matter.

Who’s someone you need to have a tough conversation with? Who in your squad is doing something you know is paralyzing their future? Speak up. You have to say something. They might get upset today, but they’ll probably thank you tomorrow.