Distractions In Your Marriage - Part 2Sample

Family Origin

Devotional Content:

My wife Nancy and I grew up in very different homes. I liked the way my parents did things. They were not perfect, but overall they had a great marriage and provided us with a great home. My parents passed down to me the “textbook” for how a mother and a father, a woman and a man, and a wife and a husband are to relate.

The same was true for Nancy. She had a “textbook” from her home. Hers was very different from mine. Our problems came when she took a page from her textbook that was not in mine and I took a page from my textbook that was not in hers. We both thought we were right because we were going by the book—our separate books. Our families of origin were distractions that were killing our marriage, not because they were bad, but because they were different.

We realized we had to work together to write our own textbook of how we were going to live as husband and wife. Over the years of our marriage, we have progressively written our own unique textbook. At times we have brought forward some of the good from each of our families and blended it together. Sometimes we still bring in some of the bad, but we recognize it a lot more easily now and set it aside. When we are on the same page from the same textbook, it makes all the difference for our marriage.

Going Deeper: If there is something from your family of origin that is distracting you from your marriage, commit to working on that today!

Next Steps:

1. What was your family origin like growing up? List 5 characteristics of your family origin.

2. Take time this week to ask your spouse about their family origin. List 5 things you learned about your spouse’s family origin.

3. What negative things from your family origin should you set aside and not add to your new family origin that you are creating with your spouse?

4. Dr. Kim shares that our family origin influences us greatly and that the key is to not let that family of origin distract us from growing our marriage. What can you do to make sure your family origin doesn’t separate you from your spouse and the new family origin you are creating together as a married couple?

5. Write down 3 things you want for your new family with your spouse. What new traditions can you start that will help your marriage grow?