THIS PRESENT TIME #13

Forgiveness: Escaping the Torture Chamber 5.7.23

Matthew 5:23-24 NASB Therefore, if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there you remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.

Matthew 18:15-17 NASB“Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that on the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be confirmed. 17And if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, he is to be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Observations about forgiveness

1. Jesus’ prayer: Security, Purity, Unity.

2. Uniformity is not a prerequisite for Unity.

3. “As much as is possible, dwell in peace with all men.”

4. “Hurting people hurt people.” It is unlikely that you can become bitter at just one person or circumstance. The disillusionment spreads.

5. Some things are not resolvable. Paul and Barnabas had a private matter that was not brought before the church.

6. The commandment of Matthew 18 is not a procedural command that must be followed to its conclusion but is rather “a track to run on” to reach resolution if possible.

7. God has not burdened us with an impossible task. Forgiveness is not some barrier that is impossible to overcome.

I. Matthew 5:23-24 deals with what to do if I am the one who has offended my fellow-Believer.

A. Step one: I realize “peace” has been lost.

B. “Leave your gift” tells us that reconciliation is important enough to interrupt your prayer life.

C. Usually it is appropriate to deal with it at the level of offense.

II. Matthew 18 deals with what I should do if I am the one who has been offended by another Believer.

A. The teaching of Jesus leads us to a lifestyle marked by willingness to forgive.

B. Often there are layers and circumstances to be considered. We should not feel guilty about necessary restrictions that sometimes must be integrated into forgiveness.

C. Disproportionate responses must be avoided.

D. We are in a kingdom that operates in mercy, grace, and peace.

E. Interpretive options:

1. View #1: My sins are retained — I lose forgiveness until I extend forgiveness.

2. View #2: The consequential view: a path of continued rebellion will thwart God’s forgiveness in our lives.

3. View #3: Unforgiveness can create interruption in the “free-flowing process” of being made whole.

I believe #3 is the correct view. It is confirmed by the message of Scripture and doesn’t make our salvation a result of our works.

Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.

Christian Life Lessons

1. If restoration is possible and practical, DO IT! (Caution is warranted.)

2. Unforgiveness interrupts or hinders God’s work of healing and restoration in our life. Concerning the idea of a torture chamber: Ray Stedman says, “It is a marvelously expressive phrase to describe what happens when we do not forgive one another. It is an accurate description of gnawing resentment and bitterness, the awful gall of hate or envy. It is a terrible feeling, and we cannot escape it. We feel strongly this separation from one another. And every time we think of the one who offended us, we feel within the acid resentment and hate eating away the peace and calm.”

3. Forgiveness usually begins as an act of the will, not our emotions.

4. Forgiveness is usually best seen as a lifestyle, not just an event.

5. Refuse to allow unforgiveness to build a wall between us and God.

6. Let God’s Spirit help you on the path of forgiveness. He is both willing and wanting to help us.

Remember these concepts.

1. I may not be willing, but I am willing to be willing.

2. I can drop the charges.

3. I do not require restitution.

4. The Lord will set things right.

5. I will have the help of Holy Spirit.