Asking For A Friend
Week Two: Help, We’ve Got Issues?

Text: John 13:1–15 (ESV)

1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end. 2 During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, 4 rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. 5 Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him. 6 He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, do you wash my feet?” 7 Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.” 8 Peter said to him, “You shall never wash my feet.” Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no share with me.” 9 Simon Peter said to him, “Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!” 10 Jesus said to him, “The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean. And you are clean, but not every one of you.” 11 For he knew who was to betray him; that was why he said, “Not all of you are clean.”

12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.

Jesus showed us how to effectively and practically love the people in our lives with issues.

Jn 13:34–35
A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

This Love was…
The SUPERIOR COMMAND of a SUPERIOR COVENANT
The FULFILLMENT of the entire law
The SIGN of True Discipleship

Three Things Jesus Taught His Disciples That Night…

1. WASH THE FEET OF THOSE WHO MAKE MISTAKES

Peter was
* Impatient
* Quick Tempered
* Double Minded

Jesus showed that love = forgiveness

Question: Concerning forgiveness, do we allow a person back in our life when they continue in the same toxic hurtful behavior. What happens when love forgiveness and prayer doesn't seem to be enough. How do we help. What does God say.

21 Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Mt 18:21–22)

Use Wisdom!

* Don’t walk this alone, seek council
* If the behavior is abusive (verbally, physically, sexually) you need to be in a safe place
* Fully Forgive and Set Boundaries
* Embrace the Grace to pray and bless

2. WASH THE FEET OF THOSE WHO DEEPLY WOUND YOU

Judas was
* Offended
* Greedy
* Unfaithful

Jesus showed that love = sacrifice

Question: Is divorce justified if you are no longer in love?

Matthew 19:3–9 (ESV)
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

* Divorce is the consequence of a hardened heart
* Divorce is never the will of God
* Marriage is a sacred union, a covenant between husband, wife, and God that should be highly esteemed

Question: If I am divorced and remarried, am I in adultery? What should I do?

Repent and Reconcile as much as you are able
Commit in your current marriage to glorify God and remain faithful

Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called (1 Co 7:20).

https://ag.org/Beliefs/Position-Papers/Divorce-and-Remarriage

3. WASH THE FEET OF THOSE WHO STILL NEED A LITTLE MORE TIME

Thomas was…
* Critical
* Had Doubts
* Saw the world in absolutes

Jesus showed us that love = patience

PATIENCE - giving others time to get there

Jesus allowed Thomas to fully belong even before he fully believed

Three Relationship Killers
* Unmet needs
* Unfulfilled expectations
* Unhealed hurts

At the heart of all three… lack of communication

If you don’t communicate you create a stalemate

Question: How do we help a spouse who has a lot of phases and going to church may be one of them? How do we help them stay committed to their relationship with God?

Three Things You Need To Bring Home…

1. Patience
- Share how important this is to you, and then be patient

2. Prayer
- Don’t discount the power of prayer

3. Presence
- find whys to sow presence into the relationship
- invite them to church, or a church of their choice

Question: How do I find mr/mrs right?
- Pursue Jesus first
- God brought Eve while Adam was at rest
- A man who has friends must himself be friendly - Prov 18:24

Question: How often do you have family time, and how often do you have date nights?

If it’s a priority, it has a place on the calendar
Walk Daily, Date Weekly, Fridays are For Family