THE ROADS CHURCH - NORRIS CITY & MT. CARMEL
FAMILY MATTERS - Part 3
Sunday May 5, 2019 - Spouse Role
Locations & Times
The Roads Church - NC
583 US-45, Norris City, IL 62869, USA
Sunday 8:30 AM
Sunday 10:30 AM
The Roads - Mt. Carmel
2200 College Dr, Mt Carmel, IL 62863, USA
Sunday 5:30 PM
eRoads Family
Sunday 10:30 AM
3 primary roles of members of the Household of God:
1) Son/Daughter (You) - Dependency
2) Spouse - Deference
3) Parent - Development
1) Son/Daughter (You) - Dependency
2) Spouse - Deference
3) Parent - Development
3 Stages of the Son/Daughter Role: (Life Cycle)
1) Baby Stage - Exposure
2) Child Stage - Exercise
3) Adult Stage - Excelling
1) Baby Stage - Exposure
2) Child Stage - Exercise
3) Adult Stage - Excelling
3 roles of members of the Household of God:
1) Son/Daughter (You) - Dependency
2) Spouse - Deference
Deference - Affected or ingratiating regard for another's wishes; in deference to; in consideration of; Humble or respectful submission to the judgment, opinion, will, of another
1) Son/Daughter (You) - Dependency
2) Spouse - Deference
Deference - Affected or ingratiating regard for another's wishes; in deference to; in consideration of; Humble or respectful submission to the judgment, opinion, will, of another
Consolation - paraklesis - Call to someone giving encouragement, comfort or exhortation
Comfort - paramythion - The comfort you feel when consoled in times of disappointment
Fellowship - koinonia - Close association or fellowship; common property or ownership; sharing, participating, intimacy
Affection - splanchnon - To feel great compassion for; deep inward feelings. Not superficial
Mercy - oiktirmos - Pity, deep awareness and sympathy for another’s suffering; empathy and sensitivity
Comfort - paramythion - The comfort you feel when consoled in times of disappointment
Fellowship - koinonia - Close association or fellowship; common property or ownership; sharing, participating, intimacy
Affection - splanchnon - To feel great compassion for; deep inward feelings. Not superficial
Mercy - oiktirmos - Pity, deep awareness and sympathy for another’s suffering; empathy and sensitivity
Selfish Ambition - eritheia - Self interest, Drive for personal success without moral inhibitions; rivalry or competition
Conceit - kenodoxia - Excessive pride in one’s achievements, vain, bragging, boasting
Lowliness of mind - tapeinophrosyne - Humble-mindedness, modesty, without arrogance; appropriate disposition of valuing or assessing oneself
Esteem - hegeomai - To lead or command with authority; go first, lead the way, be a leader
Better - hyperecho - To be of greater value, to hold above; make superior or higher
Look out - skopeo - Turn one’s interests or expectations towards something; Aim at as a target
Conceit - kenodoxia - Excessive pride in one’s achievements, vain, bragging, boasting
Lowliness of mind - tapeinophrosyne - Humble-mindedness, modesty, without arrogance; appropriate disposition of valuing or assessing oneself
Esteem - hegeomai - To lead or command with authority; go first, lead the way, be a leader
Better - hyperecho - To be of greater value, to hold above; make superior or higher
Look out - skopeo - Turn one’s interests or expectations towards something; Aim at as a target
3 Kinds of Intimacy
1) Physical
2) Emotional
3) Spiritual
1) Physical
2) Emotional
3) Spiritual
INVEST -
(I)ntimacy
(N)ecessitates
(V)alue,
(E)nergy,
(S)acrifice and
(T)rust
(I)ntimacy
(N)ecessitates
(V)alue,
(E)nergy,
(S)acrifice and
(T)rust
INVEST: VALUE
“I value your thoughts. Your thoughts are important to me.”
“I value God’s purpose for your life and the dreams of your heart.”
I'm here for you!
“I value your thoughts. Your thoughts are important to me.”
“I value God’s purpose for your life and the dreams of your heart.”
I'm here for you!
INVEST: ENERGY
Marriage takes work. “I am working hard to listen to you and understand you.”
Intentional effort to know and understand who you are.
Marriage takes work. “I am working hard to listen to you and understand you.”
Intentional effort to know and understand who you are.
INVEST: SACRIFICE
Sacrifice the desire to promote yourself instead of the team.
The strongest marriages are made of two sacrificial servants who look out for each other’s interests instead of their own
Sacrifice the desire to promote yourself instead of the team.
The strongest marriages are made of two sacrificial servants who look out for each other’s interests instead of their own
INVEST: TRUST
Your spouse feels safe to share all opinions and emotions with you.
Everything is open and nothing is hidden
Your spouse feels safe to share all opinions and emotions with you.
Everything is open and nothing is hidden
Ten common “marriage myths” (in no particular order):
1) If I married the “right person,” I should always feel in love.
2) If my spouse really loves me, he or she will be willing to change.
3) My friends know me, so they’re always the best place to get my marriage advice.
4) Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I can’t keep secrets and have personal privacy.
5) My parents raised me, so my loyalty to them should be stronger than my loyalty to my spouse.
6) I shouldn’t have to tell my spouse what’s wrong. If he or she was paying attention, they should know!
7) As long as I don’t commit adultery, I should be able to do anything I want to get my sexual needs met.
8) Every couple is unique, so there’s not a single “right” way to be married.
9) Our kids need us, so they should always come before our marriage.
10) If things aren’t working out in the marriage, I would probably be better off with somebody else.
1) If I married the “right person,” I should always feel in love.
2) If my spouse really loves me, he or she will be willing to change.
3) My friends know me, so they’re always the best place to get my marriage advice.
4) Just because I’m married doesn’t mean I can’t keep secrets and have personal privacy.
5) My parents raised me, so my loyalty to them should be stronger than my loyalty to my spouse.
6) I shouldn’t have to tell my spouse what’s wrong. If he or she was paying attention, they should know!
7) As long as I don’t commit adultery, I should be able to do anything I want to get my sexual needs met.
8) Every couple is unique, so there’s not a single “right” way to be married.
9) Our kids need us, so they should always come before our marriage.
10) If things aren’t working out in the marriage, I would probably be better off with somebody else.
APPLICATION:
In what areas of your life do you need to humble yourself and defer to others?
Which of the 5 characteristics of Jesus do you commit to grow in?
What areas are you operating in selfish ambition?
Have you been so focused on your own issues that you no longer consider others?
Am I lacking intimacy with God and others? How can I INVEST in it to change it?
What marriage myths have I believed that I need to change?
In what areas of your life do you need to humble yourself and defer to others?
Which of the 5 characteristics of Jesus do you commit to grow in?
What areas are you operating in selfish ambition?
Have you been so focused on your own issues that you no longer consider others?
Am I lacking intimacy with God and others? How can I INVEST in it to change it?
What marriage myths have I believed that I need to change?